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Pasta vs. Pizza? I love them both, but I'd choose pasta. I like how smooth the pasta's texture is. It's like the texture of a penis, just a little bit softer. But when a penis is full of cum, it's as smooth as the pasta or the condensed milk.

Mimosas in the morning is the right way to start it. I know that cuppa is more ideal but who would turn down a bubbly and citrusy concoction of delight? It's like telling a dishy bloke to shove off when he offers a good shag. A lass like me will say ...

I get a lot of overwhelming compliments from men telling me that I look hotter as I aged. While that may be true, there's one thing men I've never shagged with don't know about me — that I'm wild in bed.

I'm not some old bint who'll fumble around in bed when it comes to shagging. I'm far from it. I kept up with the times and have been around a few lads who taught me a lot of neat tricks. Now I'm looking forward to new partners who would love to show ...

Tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, wearing red lingerie that leaves nothing to the imagination. I paint a pretty picture, don't I? Now imagine me rubbing my legs together and begging for your cock, does that peak your interest, luv?

I may not have the curves I did when I was younger, but I still know how to ride a throbbing cock like it's the last time I'll ever have the chance to. I know a few blokes get off on watching a lady's tits bounce around and would even suckle on them.

5 things you should know about me: ● My strawberry creams love butterfly kisses. ● I wank in the morning, every day. ● I need to have a shag once a week. ● I love buggery. ● My hands always love to touch a ball bag.

I am not here for a committed relationship. I simply want someone who can make me experience endless streams of explosive orgasms. A man who can eat me out like my pussy is the last thing he will ever eat on Earth.